i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
