I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
