non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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