If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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