So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
