Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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