margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
