We're facebook friends in real life
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
no you cant smoke seaweed
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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