Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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