I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
