I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
