Betty ford says i'm here all night
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
