I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
