spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
