I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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