Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He did a backflip because drugs
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