For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize