Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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