is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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