I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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