He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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