Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize