She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
