8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How does one acquire holy water?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
