Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
