I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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