I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
