you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
