I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
