i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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