Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
