Umm I'm too high to move.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
