I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
