literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
