went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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