I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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