Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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