Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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