listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
