Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
