two words: eviction party
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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