I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
