You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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