we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
