It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
