I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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