I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
