i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize