I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize