dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
