Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
