We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
