home. puking in laundry basket.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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