so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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