they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize