Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
